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Ray Stevens
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The Haircut Song
作词:C W (jr) Kalb, Ray Stevens
Well, when you get a haircut, you better go back home When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair 'Cause you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly If a stranger cuts your hair, oh Lord
Well, butte, Montana just a'passin' through, one thing I just had to do Had to get a haircut and I was worried for my hair I had a feeling of impending doom the minute I stepped into that room And laid my eyes upon that barber chair, oh yeah
It was a macho barber shop Hair dryers were mounted on a rifle rack Were no mirrors, the barber chair was a Peterbilt Barber walked in, he was huge, seven feet tall Three hundred pounds of spring steel and raw hide Wearin' a hard hat, chewin' a cigar, had a T-shirt on Said, 'I hate musicians' Threw me in the chair, sneered and said, 'What'll it be pal?'
Now a lot of people would be intimidated in a situation like this I was not, I am what I am, play my piano, and sing my little songs I looked him right in the eye and I said, 'I'm a logger Just up from Coos Bay, Oregon, been toppin' trees Quite possibly the toughest man in the entire world' He said, 'All right'
He gave me a haircut and I walked out of there My hair was gone, made Kojak look like Bill Golden Yeah, had a tremendous craving to operate heavy equipment Now, you may think that butte, Montana haircut's the worst Any man could ever get, wrong
Well, a few months later I was in L.A., truckin' along on a smoggy day I needed a haircut so bad I looked like Bozo The Clown I was looking shaggy, not too good, I'd put it off as long as I could And Lord, I hate to get a haircut out of town
Well, I walked in and realized immediately That this guy was into punk rock, the walls were done in black leather Had chains and whips and handcuffs hangin' on 'em Barber walked in, he had orange hair, black mascara Stainless steel teeth, black leather jacket with zinc studs
He threw me in the chair, hit me a couple times, whap, whap Chained me down, threw a Nazi flag over me Said, 'I'm gonna tell you something That might make you a little nervous', I laughed, 'Ha ha ha' I said, 'What could possibly make me nervous?' He said, 'I'm Gay'
No problem, I'm not threatened in any way I mean, I'm secure in my manhood, everything is cool 更多更详尽歌词 在 ※ Mojim.com 魔镜歌词网 I am what I am, play my little piano sing my little songs I looked him right in the eye, I said, 'I'm a logger Played football in high school, I was in the marine corps' He said, 'All right', and he gave me a haircut
I walked out of there, friends, my hair was purple Well, at least that Mohawk section down the middle was purple Had a white streak down one side, other side looked like Mr. T Had a couple safety pins in my cheeks Felt a teeny bit conspicuous
Luckily, my next job was in San Fransisco Shoot, I got there and I didn't even stand out at all Wasn't even close Those people thought I was an insurance salesman
Well, a few months later, I was way down South Grits and gravy and hush your mouth Hair so long I'm startin' to look like a man in drag It was then that the Sheriff walked up And said, 'Boy, you got too much hair on your head You better get yourself a haircut or a dog tag'
Well, when I stepped into the shop I realized immediately that I was dealing with a born-again barber Don't see too many barber shops with a steeple Had an organ in the corner, a choir An usher led me to the barber chair
Barber walked in, started saying, 'Grace, oh Lord For these haircuts we are about to receive, may we be truly thankful Dominus possum pax probiscus Post mortem, et tu brute, puella carborundum?'
He was sorta half-baptist, half-catholic, kind of a Cathtist He started cuttin' my hair and preachin' at the same time I mean he's a wild man, scissors and razors a'flyin' around my head He's talkin'about the liquor and wild women And music and sex and the evils of dancing And the music business in general
Then he looked down at me and he said, 'What do you do for a living?' Now, I'm not ashamed of what I do for a livin' Workin' bars and casinos, around liquor and wild women I just play my piano, sing my little songs I looked him right in the eye and I said, 'I run this Church for loggers'
When you get a haircut, be sure to go back home When you get a haircut, get a barber you have known Since you were a little bitty boy sittin' in a booster chair Or you might look like Larry, Moe or Curly if a stranger cuts your hair Oh yeah
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